A Transitional Dilemma: Some Sex Changes Change Back-Again
Mike Penner was what you could call a guy’s guy. A sportswriter for the Los Angeles Times--you can’t get much more macho than that. So it made news across the country when he returned from an extended time-off in April 2007 and returned to the sports desk as Christine Daniels.
But Daniels’ 15 minutes of fame had been extended. In October of last year, Daniels shocked the world yet again when he returned to his job after another leave of absence. Only this time, he came back as Mike Penner. Christine Daniels transitioned again--back to a man.
Penner’s story has focused attention on those few cases of buyer’s remorse. When does a person decide that a sex change wasn’t the right thing to do? What motivates such a person? Does it present a bad image to those who wish to transition? Does it give ammunition to enemies of LGBT rights, those who claim that changing sexes is unnatural or against God’s law?
Part of the problem is the daunting obstacles facing anyone who makes a sex change. In the 60 years since an American ex-serivceman exploded on the world stage by having a sex change in Denmark and becoming Christine Jorgensen, there has been progress in acceptance of gender identity. But there has also been a retrenchment. In fact, Jorgensen herself received relatively little discrimination.
Compare that to what people who under go sex changes experience now, in their private life, their families and work (if they can get a job).
If you’ve ever improved your life by moving to a different city, changing jobs or dating extensively before finding a partner, you’ve probably received praise, support, and newfound credibility for that transition. Yet for those who switch back and forth between gender identities, the ongoing process of self realization is often greeted with skepticism from a culture which still finds the very notion of gender fluidity difficult to fathom.
Becky Allison, M.D. is a cardiologist who has gone through a gender transition. She refers to the process of making multiple transitions (such as male-to-female-to-male) as "gender detransition." A return to the birth gender often evokes reactions of puzzlement even among those who consider themselves accepting and enlightened. "People tend to be tolerant of diversity," Allison happily notes, "but they’re a little spooked by going back and forth."
Allison likens the public nature of transitioning to a bell; once rung, you can’t unring it. "It’s in people’s memory banks. If Joe becomes Jane and goes back to Joe again, they’ll remember this as part of their past and that’s going to color their feelings for the person." You can go back to your previous gender identity, Allison observes, but in doing so, "you’ve labeled yourself as a person who has some ’issues.’"
Some Ask: Is It Some People Just ’Can’t Make Up Their Mind’?
Skepticism is often the first -- and only -- reaction from a "society operating on a superficial level." Without knowing the circumstances surrounding the decision to detransition, "It’s easy to say that person just can’t make up their mind; to dismiss them as not being serious, or doing any deep thinking -- and that’s rarely true."
Talk radio host and attorney Robin Goldstein has devoted much of her life--and much deep thought--to her own quest for gender identity and personal fulfillment.
At 51, she’s gone from male to female to male and back again to female. This decades-long process has inspired its share of perplexed reactions.
Asked what she identifies as now, Goldstein describes herself only half jokingly as "a straight, white, Buddhist, vegetarian, lesbian fraternity boy trapped in the body of a recovering transsexual patent attorney with a bizarre sense of humor, and a master’s degree in city planning."
That laundry list acknowledges the humor and absurdity surrounding the misconception that any of us can be summed up by one simple reference to gender, career or disposition.
For Goldstein, the point she arrived at after the long process of transition and detransition is confidence and contentment -- society be damned. "The first time I transitioned," Goldstein recalls, "I felt I needed to ask permission to those around me. Some people freaked out." The second time, "I was still concerned about it, but had more of a sense of power." By the third time, "It was like, dude, whatever. I am who I am. If you love and support me, great -- and if you don’t, fuck you."
No longer concerned with justifying her motives, Goldstein says her journey is not so different than others who go through a succession of jobs, homes, or significant others before settling down. "It’s not about being trans. It’s about reaching our potential fulfillment as human beings."
Next: Facing Skeptics in Gay & Trans Communities
