Nightlife

Big Top Pee-Wee

by D. Bishop
Contributor
Tuesday Jul 6, 2004
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During those occasional introspective moments, when every person stops to ponder the great unanswerable questions "why am I here?" and "what is the meaning of my life?" I find myself wondering how I, a mere DVD critic, can possibly bring some greater good to this world. Well, thanks to Big Top Pee-wee I can now say I have finally determined what my grand purpose is in this universe, what greater good I serve... I watch films like this one so that no one else has to.

It was always my impression that Pee-wee Herman’s films and shows were supposed to be aimed at children. There is not one moment on Big Top Pee-wee that I would consider entertaining or educationally enriching for children. In fact, I consider most of it to be highly inappropriate for kids. Two small girls mud wrestling while all their male classmates cheer, Pee-wee’s mutliple attempts to throw himself on top of his prim and proper fiancee, a cleavage shot that sends Pee-wee into a swoon, a hotdog tree that at first glance looks more like a dildo display rack... yeah, I want my kids watching this. Should it therefore be considered as geared toward adults? Maybe immature, inebriated, attention-deficient adults, but even then I expect that the very notion of a minute-and-a-half long kiss between Pee-wee and the breathtakingly beautiful Gina (Valeria Golino) would put them off their lunch. The moral of the story is supposed to be to follow your heart, but in this case Pee-wee is very obviously following another part of his anatomy, a part I don’t even really want to think about. This film is generally inane, occasionally repulsive, never funny, and so pointless that I am left wondering how they managed to convince some well-known/recognizable actors (Kris Kristofferson, Francis Bay, Mary Jackson) and renowned composer Danny Elfman to even consider taking part.

So remember... hug your local DVD critic. They do a far greater service than you will ever know.

Mercifully, none.

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